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Jeff Gerstmann

I was going to set up a livestream and fuck around with some old games for awhile but holy _shit_ I am exhausted. I figured I'd bounce back after a solid night of sleep but nope.

"Apple says it's working with sunglass makers to ship new kinds of sunglasses that support Face ID."

Yeah, that's clearly the answer here. Don't improve the phone, instead try to get everyone to adapt to new types of sunglasses. Courage.

I wanted to hear this song a whole lot while driving back from Idaho but it isn't on Spotify. A travesty!

I drove 1200 miles over the last four days.

Drove for seven hours today. Got a few more tomorrow.

Standing in a closing down outlet mall wondering if my wife has been kidnapped

Hello from the middle of nowhere. I got a speeding ticket.

I was about to say that the week couldn't get much worse, but then I remembered that I have a nine-hour drive ahead of me.

what's up I think the new phones are kinda boring but that doesn't stop the part of my brain that always wants THAT NEW SHIT from thinking I should get one because advertising broke my brain forever

it's like "OH FUCK THEY'RE LIGHTER, I GUESS MY HAND _HAS_ BEEN HURTING A BIT LATELY FUCK" level shit rolling around in my head for no good reason

death, the business of Show more

The Hot Dog on a Stick at the mall is some kind of fruit smoothie and torta place now and I never want to come here ever again.

I miss the good old days, when fake internet scam money had good names like beenz and flooz.

A big part of the pitch I received about that ICO is that the CEO of company is 12. I guess I've already aged out of the crypto CEO market, damn.

Proud to announce my own new cryptocurrency, United States Dollars. We're very excited, please invest today!!!!!!!

Someone is apparently launching a gaming-focused ICO called Quarters and man fuck you, quarters already exist they're FUCKING QUARTERS

yesterday: totally fine

today: a motherfucker

tomorrow: ??????

It's interesting to me that videos of people behaving normally and acting naturally now get knocked for being "low energy." Probably because the average YouTube video is chockfull of that fake-ass WHAT'S UP GUYS I LOVE/HATE THIS PRODUCT energy now.

Well, maybe that's just the new normal now, not necessarily "fake." It's like video content's own version of the Loudness Wars.